As British NFL fans, we have to deal with an influx of moronic comments about the game every year, usually around the heightened presence of the sport surrounding the Super Bowl.
Without fail, a bunch of Twitter “comedians” will come out with some hilariously recycled and regurgitated lines that apparently are supposed to inform us that the game is terrible, and couldn’t hold a candle to rugby and other sports.
For non-American Football fans planning on making these impossibly funny remarks tonight, the entire UK NFL fanbase would like to tell you to not bother, it’s boring!
Here’s the top five infuriating things people will say tonight, things that they’ll think are hilarious when in fact, they’re quite the opposite:
"Hand-egg"
“Why’s it called football, they use their hands and the ball isn’t round?”
This remains about as funny as typhoid.
"They're all soft, rugby players don't wear padding"
Tell you what mate, if you think that all American Football players are soft, let’s line you up for a slant route against Vontaze Burfict. They wear pads and helmets because they’d literally die if they didn’t. Seriously!
"How can they be world champions if it's just American teams?"
If you want to arrange a game between the London Blitz and the New England Patriots or Philadelphia Eagles, go right ahead my friend.
"Why does it take so long?"
Because they stop the clock so the fans actually get to see more action, unlike other sports where teams can just time waste. Value for money!
"Look at those fat lads - how are they athletes?"
Yes, the linemen are big lads but I bet most of them are more athletic than you! They’re super strong and surprisingly agile too.